Scripture
Genesis 32:1-21
Genesis 33:1-18
Matthew 5:43-48
When we are first introduced to the twins, Jacob and Esau in Genesis 25, we see how different they are, which led to some issues between them. If you haven’t heard or read the story, you can find it in Genesis 25:27-34 and then Genesis 27:1-28:9. In these stories, Esau gives Jacob his birthright (being the first born and everything that comes with that—inheritance) for a bowl of stew. Then, Jacob later deceives his dad and tricks him into giving him Esau’s blessing by pretending to be his brother. So, Jacob took his brother’s birthright and blessing. It’s not surprising that Esau was really angry with his brother and planned to kill him. Their mom overheard Esau’s plan and she and Isaac sent Jacob away to find a wife among his mom’s family.
Many years later, after Jacob has his 11 kids, he sets out to go back to his family and homeland. Jacob sends a message ahead to his brother, Esau, and then Esau said he was coming to meet him, with 400 men. Jacob, understandably, is scared, so he splits the people and animals with him into two groups, so if Esau attacks one group, the other might escape. Jacob prayed to God about it, sent a gift ahead of him for his brother, hoping to please him and make him less angry.
Jacob waited a bit, probably hoping to give his brother some more time to cool down, and he spent the night in the camp. This was when we wrestled a man, that turned out to be God, in the night and God blessed him and changed his name to Israel.
The next morning, Jacob continued on to go meet Esau, still very nervous. But then, we see in Genesis 33:4, “Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept.” I doubt that’s what Jacob was expecting from his brother, especially after all Jacob did to Esau when they were younger. What a beautiful story of reconciliation between these two brothers. Esau met him with love, not hate!
How often do we expect a person to respond to us one way, especially after we may have hurt them, but they end up responding the complete opposite way we would think? How often do you respond differently to a person who hurt you? We see Esau here embracing his brother and meeting him with love. Let’s strive to be like Esau—meeting with love the people who hurt us. This is not an easy thing to do, but it’s something Jesus calls us to do as well—to love our enemies. That is what Jesus does and he wants us to do the same.
Now, depending on what the other person did to hurt you, reconciliation may not be an option, or at least a safe option, and that’s ok. You can still forgive that person, even without telling them. Forgiveness and reconciliation are different. We see Jacob and Esau reconciling here and Esau, it seems, forgives Jacob. There is a lot more we could talk about reconciliation and forgiveness, but that’s for another time. The point is, Esau chose to respond to his brother, Jacob with love and forgiveness and it resulted in a beautiful moment of reconciliation.
However, an interesting thing happens next. It seems as though Jacob was still a little paranoid or skeptical because after telling Esau to go on ahead of him, and he would meet him in Seir, Jacob decided to go to Sukkoth and then on to Shechem in Canaan. He didn’t follow through on his word, he didn’t come join Esau, but went his own way. I think Jacob should have told him the truth—that God told him to go back to Canaan, instead of saying one thing and doing another.
So, even if we forgive and seem to reconcile, that doesn’t always mean that the other person wants to continue to have a relationship with us. As hard as it may be, we cannot control what other people do. We can only control what we choose to do. So, let’s choose to love and forgive.
Jesus did the unexpected on the cross by dying in our place, paying the price for our sins, forgiving us, so that we can be reconciled to God. He always meets us with love, mercy, grace, and forgiveness.
Prayer
Lord, help me to love others like you do, even when they hurt me. Give me the courage and strength to respond to others with love and forgiveness. Give me the wisdom to know when reconciliation is a good option and when I should just forgive them and not reconcile the relationship. Help me to also seek forgiveness from those I have hurt. Thank you for forgiving me and wanting reconciliation with me, no matter what I do.
Questions/Journal Prompts
Feel free to use these questions as a guide as you journal and/or pray.
1. What is your normal response to being hurt by someone?
2. Is there someone that comes to mind that has hurt you? Is this a situation where reconciliation is safe and possible?
3. How can you unexpectedly meet that person with love and forgiveness?
4. Is there someone you have hurt that you need to seek their forgiveness?
Songs to listen to
Spend some time listening to these songs, reflecting on the words, and sitting with Jesus.
“Mercy” by Bethel Music https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sILwvJShMV8
“Forgiveness” by Matthew West https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMn0QNdiuGE
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